*cry*

I cry each time
You say those things
To me or anyone else.

I cry each time
You wap at me.
OR when I see you getting close.

I cry when you call me names
Like loser, and hater, and Carrie.
I cry when you tell me you hate me, don’t love me
I yearn for times to be merry.

If I have failed you,
I have failed myself,
And I don’t have much more to live for.
If I have failed you, For this I’m sorry
I cant give you very much more.

I poured my heart out onto this task, this dream
I do everything for you.
I cry when I look in your young, innocent eyes,
And wonder what you go through.

You are so young, and yet so yourself
But you have me in you too.
But I die each time you say those things
To me, to him, to you.

Tears stream down my face like rivers
Babbling over the terrain.
I wonder if I will ever live up
To what you want to obtain.

You are my life
My body, my own, my greatest accomplishment
But why do you treat me so badly, I ask
What did I do to you?

I love you, baby
I want you to know.
I will always be here for you.
But it breaks my heart to pieces, here, if this is what you show.

-Carrie Stelter, September 30, 2008

alone. I am all but alone.

I know God is with me... I just wish he would hold me and tell me things will work out.

Crying

Thats all i am doing.

Crying.

Crying about my brother. sniff. i need a drink. :(

Mysterious ways

jackson is having some major problems at school. Not just lately, either. These started last year. He thinks everyone is out to hurt him, even when they arent. He thinks kids cut in front of him in line, when they do anything but.

I think he just gets so overwhelmed in large settings, he just melts. He is so smart, and so sweet. he is a wonderful person, and so, we are having meeting at his school today at 330, to evaluate if he is placed correctly, or whether it would be wise to move him somewhere else.


I dont know. I feel so helpless.... :(