I am a sad little grasshopper.

I feel a bit overwhelmed by what is going on in my life currently. My mom probably has lung cancer. My oldest brother is spirallying backwards back into the drug infested world, and my next older brother and I, well... our relationship is severely strained, to say the very least.

My personal home life is going okay. I mean, Steven is wonderful. Jackson is doing Okayish. I am going to have surgery on the 13th of July, and finally be rid of all my painful periods and ovulations.


But I feel very sad. I dont want to lose my mom, but i Know it is coming... faster than a freight train in Texas. I want my brother to get help. the help he needs. I want him to cut every son of a bitch out of his life who is draggin him back into this horrible life of crime, drugs, and a whole new personal level of hell for me. I want to patch things up with my other brother, but I am so strained from his wife, that I fear that will never happen.

I am just very, very, very sad.